Sex jokes

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

What did the woman say to the man?

"Stop."

What did the man do?

Keep going.

FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?

An orange tree! :>

Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

It's important to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"

Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?

Who cares?

What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?

Her, probably.

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.