Sex jokes
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.