Sex jokes

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

BLM = Bang local MILFs.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

SEX

Ty choked on DT’s willy.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To try to get away from the man.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.

Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?

Pussy, no pussy.

What song is sung when conceiving?

"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"

Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.

AKA you're for sale.

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

Penis.

How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."