Sex jokes
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?
Wash off the birch sap from the face.
Memes
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
BLM = Bang local MILFs.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
SEX
Ty choked on DT’s willy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?