Sex

Sex jokes

Woman

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Dog

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

Thigh

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

Peanut Butter

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

Memes

Computer

How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!

Boy

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

Egg

Why was the egg runny?

Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.

Penis

What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.

Penis

Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."

Nah, it's a penis.

Rape

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

Poem

Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.

My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.