Sex jokes
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
"Dick me down shorts."
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
Penis.