Sex jokes
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
Ty choked on DT’s willy.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅