Sex jokes
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Pussy, no pussy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Memes
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
SEX
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Your penis is literally BLUE!
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Penis.