Sex jokes
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END