Sex jokes
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I fucked your girl.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Chupa mi polla.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.