Sex jokes
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I fucked your girl.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Chupa mi polla.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."