Miss Piggy jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"