Miss Piggy jokes
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".