Miss Piggy jokes
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
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Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
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What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"