Sex jokes
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.