New Sex Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.

69.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Yes, sir.

Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.

I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.

Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.

There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.

Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.

Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.

What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?

The cowgirl.

It’s like I always tell my kids:

"Two in the pink, one in the stink."

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.

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If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁