Sex jokes
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What comes after 69?
Period.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.