Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
What's the difference between sex and gender.
you can't have gender with your sister.
Yep this happens when u play g.t.a good god
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit
what do you say when jacks late to sex ed??? aye-jack-you-late
. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you donât need a partner.
So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didnât want them..
Wouldnât want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head
I had sex with my German gf, it was kinda weird tho, she kept yelling her age. Idk why.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex
Because her boyfriend said "who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
i have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis) but you aint have no girl friend your only friend yhey call him ching chong coz of your hairrline
Pussys and tits have one thing in common they both made for kids but men end up licking them or suckling them
