Sense jokes
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
I can smell your kids!
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
Why was the rapper always well-dressed?
Because he knew the importance of FLOW in FASHION.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?
Does breath smell like 🍑?
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.