Consciousness jokes

Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.

We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!

God's consciousness: Art.

God's unconsciousness: Christianity.

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

My day started out great until I woke up.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"

I said, "Yes, I know I am."

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

You've realized I exist? Huh, cool.

Not a joke; just a statement:

Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.

Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?

He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.