Consciousness jokes

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

My day started out great until I woke up.

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind.

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

God's consciousness: Art.

God's unconsciousness: Christianity.

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"

I said, "Yes, I know I am."

So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.

We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!