Consciousness jokes
My day started out great until I woke up.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
The happier they get, the less they see.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Community talk
Actually, Alain, while humans are capable of cruelty, selfishness, and betrayal, judging the entire species by its worst behavior overlooks the amazing qualities that humans also possess. Unlike dogs, humans have the capacity for complex reasoning, self-sacrifice, creativity, and empathy that go far beyond instinct. People have built hospitals, created systems of justice, rescued strangers in times of disaster, and devoted their lives to helping others they may never even meet again. Human intelligence is not proven by perfection, but by the ability to reflect, grow, and consciously choose compassion despite flaws and conflicting desires.
i feel like im abt to pass out
Cogito ergo sum