Self Harm jokes
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
What kills you?
Suicide.
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.