Self Harm jokes
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What kills you?
Suicide.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!