Self Harm jokes
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
Q: How do emo kids complement each other?
A: I like your cuts g.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
I slit my wrists.
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)