Self Harm jokes
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA