Self Harm jokes
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
Slit your wrists.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
I slit my wrists.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
Old McDonald cuts himself.
E-M-E-M O!
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.