Self Harm jokes
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.