Self Harm jokes
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
I slit my wrists.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.