Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Self Harm Jokes
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
I slit my wrists.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Suicide
Don’t cut yourself up about it.
