Self Harm jokes
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
I slit my wrists.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Don’t cut yourself up about it.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
Slit your wrists.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.