Self Harm jokes
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Slit your wrists.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.