Self Harm jokes
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Suicide
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.