Self Harm jokes

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

Are you a knife? Because I want you.

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

Slit your wrists.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!

Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.