Self Harm jokes
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.