Scissors jokes

Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?

Scissors beat paper.

Why are emos like paper?

They cut easily.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

Rock, paper, lesbians.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.