Dwayne Johnson jokes

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.

What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?

One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.

What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.