Scandal

Scandal Jokes

Name

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

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  • Micheal Jackson

    Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

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  • Priest

    A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

    The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

    Phrase

    What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

    Film

    Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

    Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

    Artist

    An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

    The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

    "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

    "Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

    Lego

    What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

    They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

    Tea

    What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

    Priest

    Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

    Money

    What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

    Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.