Scandal jokes
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Memes
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.