100+ Scandal Jokes

A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have boys' pants half off.

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

"U Can't Touch Kids."

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?

A colonoscopy.

Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.