Scandal jokes

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?

Netflix and pill.

Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?

Because he can’t sniff their hair.

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?

They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?

"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.

He is now playing the whore-monica.

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!

I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.

EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"

Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.