Scandal jokes
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.