Scandal Jokes

I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.

I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty.

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?

Innocent.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?

Because he comes in a little behind.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."