Scandal jokes
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?
A colonoscopy.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Tiger Woods is a lion cheetah. He took a wife and seventeen mistresses because he just had to play all eighteen holes.
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.