Scandal jokes
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.