Investigation jokes
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.