Child rearing jokes

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.