Child rearing jokes

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?