Child rearing jokes

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

It’s like I always tell my kids:

"Two in the pink, one in the stink."

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.