Say jokes
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe!!!
Just send me to hell already.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."