Say Jokes

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

Why did you say hi?

Because you wanted to.

"Get a life, dum dums!"

Says the fucking moron.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

The first image shows a blue-haired furry character with cat ears and a tail, making peace signs. The character is wearing a black t-shirt that says 'TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS' over a background with colors of the transgender flag (pink, blue, and white). The second image shows Optimus Prime from the Transformers franchise, partially obscured against a red background.

So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?

That don't make no cents.

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?

What is going on here?

Breakfast! 😂

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Me: I want a PS5.

Dad: Alright, I will say no.

Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"

(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)

Poirier: Really, bitch?

I asked my friend Cammy what is 55+68 and he was to say it in words, he replied with "swebin".

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.

Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!

What did a cat say to the dog?

"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"

What did I say to you? You suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"