Say jokes

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”

And then you die inside.

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."

What did the pot say to the kettle?

"To lick the s*** spoon."

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?

Dumb right wingers.

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."

A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.

A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.

How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

What did Allah say when he created the universe?

-Allahu akbar!!!

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."