Say jokes
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke.
Jokes have meaning.
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)
What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!