Say jokes

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.

Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!

I didn’t orphan never say home.

Because they didn’t have one.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Me say, "Crack my finger."

My hubby crack my finger.

Now say it backwards.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"

What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"

Why is something orphans can never say?

"Let's go home."