Say jokes
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.