Say jokes
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What did the sea say to the sea?
Nothing, it just waved.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."