Say jokes

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?

- Kelp!

What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?

Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."

What happens when an alien connects with your device?

The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wa sa Bee.

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Control freak.

Con...

Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"