Say jokes
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"