Say jokes

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?

"Wanna hang?"

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."