Say jokes

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?

Catch you later!

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?

"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

What did the pirate say to Argon?

Ar!

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?

"Yo, chill!"

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"