Say jokes
Say: "eye"
Spell: map
Then say: "enis."
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
Denise.
What more is there to say?
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...