Say jokes

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."

(I am a penis!) HA HA!

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

What did the emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?

“We should touch base.”

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"

Oh... wait.

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.