A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Say Jokes
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Q: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved! 🙃
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
