Say jokes
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.