Say jokes
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."