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What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

Iโ€™m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I donโ€™t know."

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)