Say jokes
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Say your joke in the comments.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Say, "Moommy."
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”