Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her on the act and gave away my location from the noise
I know where you live! I saw you before!
Zebra couldn't find any grass then he saw the monkey cooking he thought to steal a little but he was burned in the fore and th smoke was all over him but when he to the ocean it's still there and zebras are stuck in this stile forever
I saw an off orphan and asked them if they had parent permission
During school today a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it it was the principals number
Comment anything if u like what u saw with gwen in her bra!
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch Me: Strange...Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
“I really hate cats” my friend replied with" you gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass. Not breathing. Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone. Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
I was in the car and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy an a,m like what the
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
To start im a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
one day a man was walking in a ally when a crack head atakes him so then man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home when he gose to his wife she asks him if he saw her dad.
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said “you’ve got to be yolking me”
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
A fly is 6 inches above water and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly then a bear garbs the fish and eats it, then a hunter shot the bear and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it then a cat runs down to get the mouse trips and falls into the water and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
