Saw jokes

People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.

You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

I know where you live! I saw you before!

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!

Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."

I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage :)

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.