Saw jokes

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

Saw (DYM 69).

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.

When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."