Saw jokes

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Why did the orphan cross the road?

He thought he saw his mother.

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.