Said jokes

Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"

Fork off!

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?

(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"