Said jokes

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:

"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"