Said jokes

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"

He replied, "There's no 'F'."

Me: "There's no family."

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"