Said jokes

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race

"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?

Because it said "concentration camp."

What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?

"To bee or not to bee."

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.