Said jokes

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

"Hi, plane," said the tower.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"