Russia jokes
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
"Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Putin is so obsessed with territorial expansion, he’s even trying to annex your mama’s bedroom.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.