Russia jokes
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
Russia—the real joke.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Memes
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.