Russia Jokes

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

Russia—the real joke.

What do you call a Russian pharmacist?

"Ivan Astichestykov."

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

Dmitri! Where's my vodka?

russia

The image shows two panels. The top panel has text that says "Putin: civil war in Ukraine. Meanwhile, reality:". The bottom panel is a still from the movie Home Alone. It shows a boy aiming a rifle at a small door. Above the boy the text says "Ukraine". The head of a man is looking through the hole in the door. Above the man the text says "Russia".

"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha

In America, you work on plantation In Soviet Russia, plantation work on you!

hippity hoppity dont abolish my property

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

In America, you find Waldo.

In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.

Americans: we drive on the right side of the road

The British: we drive on the left side of the road

Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.