Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some BARS on the other side.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
