Road jokes
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
Why can't the Ctrl key cross the road? Because it is an 8-lane highway.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.