Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Road Jokes
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
