Road jokes
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.