Road jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.