Road jokes
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why did the joke cross the street?
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.