Intersection jokes

What did one traffic light say to the other?

"Stop looking, I am changing."

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

What is the similarity between math and buildings?

Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.

Q: When does a pentagon have four sides?

A: When it's intersected by a plane!

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.