Ring

Ring Jokes

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy

Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.

Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.

Teacher,the one sucking it?

Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

By:Xzavier

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."

The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."

2

Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, Don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."