Bell

Bell Jokes

Guy

The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.

  • 2
  • Super glue

    A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

    Celebrity

    Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.

    Testicle

    Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

    Prize

    Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?

    Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.

    Jingle Bells

    I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

    Cucumber

    What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

    You need more dressing.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.

    Hotel

    A photon is checking into a hotel.

    The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

    The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

    Big Ben

    At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

    Fight

    Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

    Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

    Doorbell

    What does an Asian doorbell sound like?

    "Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"